Think about your first day in the high school. How was your experience..?? Were you at ease on that day..?? What did you do to be at ease? Probably you found another person who was most like you and bonded with that guy or girl and then the world changed. You started enjoying being yourself in the high school…!!! Isn’t that amazing what the company of similar people can do to us..??
In most of our relations we have the tendency to sway towards the alike. Though there is a belief that opposites attract, if you look back at your life, it is hardly true. We are inclined towards those who are either like us or the ones like our desired self. We are the way we are possibly because of three things. Firstly we might be habituated to be what we are: The routine type, Secondly it could be only way we know of and comfortable with in our current exposure: The wannabe type and finally we really like what we are: Rock star type. In first case we will be compelled to find similar, in second case we crave for more exposure and in third case we are naturally comfortable with others like us.
There are many relations in our life which choose us rather than us choosing them. These could be our parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, colleagues, kids and in some cases even spouse and so on. Can we ensure that we are happy in these relations and even make them fulfilling..??
We certainly can. How do we do it..?? We are not as we simple as we present. There are several fine intricacies associated with us. Out of all these there could be one small thread which is common between two people. Consider one of your relations you can barely converse with. Explore for those common threads. I am sure there will be more than one if you are honest in your exploration. Now you have a foundation of similarities. Start your conversations from this thread and try to find out the category person belongs to. Is it the first habitual category? The second exploration category or the third, I am the rock star category. If he is in first category, he will eventually be habituated to your ways if you are truly with him for few days. If she is in second category she already is on her way to model you. If he is in third category, well, here you have a person from whom you can learn or unlearn one or 2 things. You will be amazed to find out how much more you would have explored this person in the process and bonded. Who knows..?? You might even start to like the person during the parade…!!
Think about your best friend. She might share many similarities however even she is unique and has several other qualities, which you might not approve of, however has embraced anyway because you already like her. There is not a single person who can be exactly like us. Relations are about starting from the similarities, expanding and eventually embracing the differences. Try it and you will see how life changes for the better…!!
Beyond Randomness is an organization run by psychologists, based in Bangalore...Know More